Readings On How (Not) To Be A Traditonal Bride.

I've been reading this book I picked up at Barnes & Noble the other day by Ariel Meadow Stallings called Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives For Independent Brides and I still don't know what to make of it.  See, when I got involved with this whole wedding project I realized that I wanted to be CEO, co-CFO (have to share that title with Fred), CMO, and all the other C-O's because I want a wedding that is as representative of our tastes and personalities as much as possible, and only I could control and enforce that. 

I didn't want to read all these bridal magazines because they can be overwhelming, it's like having a million people telling you what or how you could be doing things.  I want this to be organic, off-the-cuff as much as possible.  Fred knows I am a jack of all trades master of none; I like to learn new things and I don't always put them to practice. Why should my (our)  wedding be any different?  I have plenty of artistic and creative minds in my close circle of family and friends to help me in that area; I don't need to pay to be given ideas, nor do I need to feel subjected to follow a specific pattern.  And this is when I thought I was being offbeat and so I went ahead and bought the book to re-assure me of my conviction.  The reality is that it ladders up to a singular message: do what makes you happy and be willing to accept that it's okay if you want monogrammed napkins, as long as it's what you truly want.  (This can be followed by a few tips on how several people have done it). 

But, isn't that what all weddings are/should be about?  Bringing your vision to life? Incorporating all those elements you hold dear and the embodiment of both your tastes and personalities?  Do we really need labels to define us as traditional vs. none?  Do you really need to have a Burning Man sculputre to be considered off-the-beaten-path?  I call bullshit to all that. In thinking that I could be a non-traditional bride, I am  one.  WEDDINGS ARE TRADITIONAL. So why do people write books, magazines, and blogs on how to be this "offbeat" bride, or the indie bride?  If in the end, we are all subscribing to the same principles for the most part: wedding registries, invitations, save the dates, special gowns and outfits whether taffeta-free or not, they're all the same, hiding under a different name.  Bottom line is, don't think you can classify your wedding or walk on the opposite side of the street just by following a few simple rules.  A wedding, is a wedding, is a wedding.  Independent?  That's marketing talk.

In  my case, I am trying to accept this fact, and I just need to focus on how to re-create the vision in my brain into a real-life event.  Whether that means lace or no lace, dry-insect lollipops as wedding favors or not, it's all still about a day when we will spend significant amounts of money all to commemorate or celebrate a formal union (AKA Wedding).

So that leaves me to think, is there really such a thing as offbeat?  Who is to say?