What's in a name? To hyphenate or not?

Juliet:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

We all know the infamous line of Romeo & Juliet- the doomed lovers and their warring families.  Here precisely, Juliet is saying that a name is just a name, but it's the essence of the "name" that makes it so.  You can change a name, but the person behind the name you can never change-  the being, the object itself, its raison d'etre.  So who cares if he's a Montague and she's a Capulet, what matters is the being attached to the name and their love for each other.  Sighhhhhh!

For us Juliettes (I hope that's plural) or brides-to-be, the moment arrives when all of a sudden you wonder if you're in fact going to change your name or not.  I was having dinner with my girlfriends the other night and realized that this appears to be a question that a lot of brides debate with.  Particularly nowadays when women are industry leaders, entrepreneurs, run to be candidates for US presidency-  when, as they say -  the glass ceiling is broken...  is there a need to change your name and adapt your husband's?  That would be like giving up a piece of your identity wouldn't it?  At said dinner my friend mentioned, quite casually actually, that she is hyphenating.  She will be keeping her last name and adding on his.  That didn't surprise any of us in the room, it's a valid want,  but she also brought up a good point... why can't he hyphenate?  He can, legally, but why do most men choose not to? 

Personally, I'm not a feminist.  I like to have chairs pulled, doors opened, be given the right of way, I think it's nice.  Shit, I would like that if I were a man too!  I don't need to label myself as anything to enjoy my rights as a human being, and while at it enjoy my womanhood in whatever way that may be, as long as it makes me happy.  However, I do admire those bra-burners, and women's rights activist, because they were valiant; they believed in something and they fought to have their voices heard when others were afraid to speak up.  And I think it's important to acknowledge that, and to question the why of things.  In this case, my friend observed that her fiancee wouldn't change his name, so why should she?  But, she compromised, she would hyphenate.  Is there anything wrong with that?  Is that still kowtowing to a "man-made" world?  I don't think so.  The reality, to me at least, is that you gotta do what you want and what feels right to you.  Tradition will always be present in some way shape or form.  Did I mention we are getting married?  And not just any marriage of sorts, but the sort that involves wedding gowns, and bouquets, and bridesmaids and all that jazz.  So maybe tradition is not such a bad thing right?

In my case, I think i'm going full Monty.  I love my man.  I'm a woman in a world of broken glass ceilings (and other things).  I love my man.  And like Juliet, a name change won't change who I am, because at the end of the day it is my hair, my eyes, my bones and cells that make me who I am.  To adopt Fred's last name would simply complete this fairytale picture for me.  It would be my metamorphosis into the said wife of the man whose babies I want to have! (I love my ovaries and I want to put them to use one day and house a living human inside my body, because apparently I'm also an alien by any other name).  Plus, I have already sounded out my name with his last name, and I think it sounds quite right.  In fact, I think it sounds quite formal and established, like that of a writer.   Unlike Juliet, a name DOES mean a lot...  it means making sure you're not in-breeding.  Right? 

So, what's in a name is what you want it to be.  Whether hyphenated or not, you're still going to have to go through a shitload of paperwork just to add his name onto yours (at least that's what I've heard), unless of course you're just keeping your maiden name (which is technically your father's last name) in which case, well, it's still just a man's world ain't it?

I think that's why I work in advertising.  What's in a name?  Why, whatever you want it to be, of course!