Trigger Happy A.K.A The Wedding Registry

There are two schools of thought regarding the infamous and not-so-famous Wedding Registry.  Macy's, Sears, Bloomingdales, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target, etc. all thrive from couples listing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise for their weddings... all on someone else's tab.  The notion that people actually create these "wish lists" is appaling to some; how can people actually ask for things, that is just too materialistic and shallow.  Then there are those who think that not having a wedding registry makes it harder on your guests, those who want to give you a gift that's not cash, because not only will they have to wonder what you guys would want or enjoy, but you will most like end up with 5 blenders, 3 toasters, and 2 ironing boards (do they still sell those?)

I think in this regard we have to be aware of one thing: we are after all throwing a big party to celebrate a marriage A.K.A a wedding.  The minute you decide to spend thousands (which is the norm) of dollars on a celebration that will require the presence of many a guest, you are essentially already setting the expectation that if they are to be good guests they should not arrive empty-handed.  And that would imply "asking" for something in return for the invitation.  So personally, I think that if you're going to move forward with a wedding in the tradional sense, then you might as well have a registry.  Tell it like it is.  Don't put a blusher on it.

Fred is of the belief that you shouldn't "ask" for things.  I agree.  But, it's also common for people these days to expect to see a wedding/gift registry.  And there are ways you can go about it without feeling like you're "asking".  One such way is to not tell people of your registry, let them find it on their own if they're interested in knowing what you have in your "wish list" (I guess I already ruined that option with this blog entry).  If they don't want to contribute a gift from a predetermined registry then they don't have to feel bad about not doing so either.   I have a friend who would never give something from a predetermined list.  He believes that part of the excitement is to come up with a gift that is as unique as the giver as well as the receiver.

Fred and I don't always agree on things, and that's fine.  In the end, these sort of things are irrelevant, and he knows that not arguing over it is more important than having or not having a list.  So I appease his distaste by adding two coffee percolators to the registry... just for him (he loves coffee, I don't drink it).