More wedding to-do's- the decor

I yearned for this day to come, the day when i would finally be able to honker down and start doing "the fun stuff"- wedding decorations.  I waited patiently for months, trying to focus on the big ticket items so as not to get distracted and lose sight of the things that needed to get taken care of in advance: venue, dress, shoes, music, food, officiant, etc.  But those days are now behind me (us) and I can begin to think about color scheme, decorations, those things that pull it all together and bring your theme to life.

I began doing a bit of research a few months and discovered this site:  colourlovers.com a community of people united by one central interest: color.  Here you can create your own color palettes and patterns. YOu can even name your "color" if it hasn't yet been "discovered" by the community.

Here are a few of my palettes inspired by the wedding venue and Frida that I think will help bring the theme (Modern Vintage with a Mexican Twist) to life:


Color by COLOURlovers

and


Color by COLOURlovers

Las Dos Fridas was literally inspired by the painting.  I don't think that i can use those colors, but I like it anyway.

Here's the pic it's based on:

So, there you have it, and i think i need to keep creating more palettes.  It's quite fun!  Hopefully i'll be able to nail down the final one very soon!

Wedding Magic Ebbs and Flows

I just realized as I sit here telling Fred that all I have is $7 for takeout tonight for the sushi order (yep, I was home all day and I did not cook) that I haven't been doing much upkeep with this blog here.  Is it wedding-planning-magic all along?  I wonder if this is normal.  There are days when i'm truly into this and in full planning mode, and enjoying it, and then there are days like today when all I can think about is lounging around and watching movies all day.  Then I realize that I'm just being lazy and super unproductive and that I should at least say "hi" to the blog.

Well here I am, and the funny thing is that as soon as I begin to write I start thinking of a zillion things to discuss, but then I realize that I should save some of them and not give them all up one-shot.  You know, is like trying to get that sudden brain juice stored away somewhere for use on future low-juice" days. 

I shouldn't be so hard on myself however.  There have been several things that I have accomplished in the past weeks.  Here's my list:


1.  When in "the mood", I have actually been browsing the heck out of etsy in search for inspiration and wedding ideas.   I have a folder in my computer where I save screengrabs of things that catch my interest including hand-made wedding bouquets that do not include real flowers, and custom shoe paint jobs- it's like graffiti for shoes.

Here's a pair of shoes from CocoPunkz.  This particular style is called "Obsessions".  Now that's what I'm talking about.  I haven't decided on a design for my shoes, but you bet I'm counting on a snazzy pair made just for me, for my big day!  Is it possible to adjust the saying to "wear your heart on  your feet"?

2.  Wedding Gown.   This matter has been taken care of.  I found a fabulous dress through The Cotton Bride that I cannot wait to wear!  Yep, when I wore that dress I knew it was right because I didn't want to take it off.  That's just what it feels like.  All you want to do is stand in front of the mirror staring at yourself in that dress.  Shallow, perhaps.
(wedding bell rings...  I mean door bell rings, sushi is here)
 My only fear is that I was told not to GAIN weight.  A lot of brides LOSE weight either through dieting or simply from stress.  In my case, I think I have been this size/weight for years now, but what if all of a sudden my metabolism fails me and I end up putting on a few pounds?  Then what?  I've never had to worry about gaining weight, in fact it has been encouraged.  This is the first time I'm actually worried and realize... shit, what if I don't fit into my dress?

3.  Wedding couples meet and greet.  Our caterer (The Raging Skillet) organized a soiree for about 5/6 wedding couples this past Friday and treated us to nice wine and hors d'ouvres.  I got to talk to other couples that like us, are in full wedding planning mode.  Overall, it was nice to be able to talk JUST WEDDING TALK without feeling guilty (because your friends don't always want to hear about your wedding planning actually) or being obnoxious.  Everyone was on the same page,and it seemed that almost everyone had relevant information to share with at least one other couple.  We found that one of the couples is getting married at our same venue, the day before us!  I was telling Fred: we should make conversation with them and try to talk them into leaving their table centerpieces and flower arrangements behind for us to re-use the next day.  Haha.  Ghetto.  But, the table was long, the wine was flowing, and we were too comfortable talking with those directly next to us, and that possibility got away.  But, before the night was over I did get a contact for a Photographer from one other couple.  I'll be checking out her portfolio pretty soon.

Bottom line is that I shouldn't be so hard on myself.  Woman does not live from wedding magic alone.   Oh no, that's why I have a mantra to keep me in check:  "the day this wedding becomes a chore, it will cease to be fun".  I won't let it get to that point.  It's like a relationship, you need time apart once in a while.  Otherwise you'd suffocate.

No 1 Way to Plan a Wedding

It's one thing to be on the road to marriage, and it's another to be on this journey with a few of your closest friends.  Two of my close friends from college are also in the midst of wedding planning: Molly's is next August and Melissa's in April the following year, mine falls in the middle.  And it's amazing to see how different each of our approaches to wedding planning is.   Melissa has a binder and a tote for all her wedding accouterments, Molly uses Facebook to share her bridal-bliss tidings and Bridezilla moments, and I have a blog and a small notebook where I jot down thoughts and notes.  We all then have a few other essentials to help us in our journey, mine include The Martha Stewart Encyclopedia of Arts & Crafts among them, but we all have an individual approach to our big day, and that's the point!

We will continue to have our bridal gatherings as Molly's wedding draws near (Melissa and I will both be bridesmaids at her wedding), pick out our bridesmaids dresses, and at the same time scout for our own wedding gowns - oh to be a bridesmaid and a bride all in the span of two months!

Readings On How (Not) To Be A Traditonal Bride.

I've been reading this book I picked up at Barnes & Noble the other day by Ariel Meadow Stallings called Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives For Independent Brides and I still don't know what to make of it.  See, when I got involved with this whole wedding project I realized that I wanted to be CEO, co-CFO (have to share that title with Fred), CMO, and all the other C-O's because I want a wedding that is as representative of our tastes and personalities as much as possible, and only I could control and enforce that. 

I didn't want to read all these bridal magazines because they can be overwhelming, it's like having a million people telling you what or how you could be doing things.  I want this to be organic, off-the-cuff as much as possible.  Fred knows I am a jack of all trades master of none; I like to learn new things and I don't always put them to practice. Why should my (our)  wedding be any different?  I have plenty of artistic and creative minds in my close circle of family and friends to help me in that area; I don't need to pay to be given ideas, nor do I need to feel subjected to follow a specific pattern.  And this is when I thought I was being offbeat and so I went ahead and bought the book to re-assure me of my conviction.  The reality is that it ladders up to a singular message: do what makes you happy and be willing to accept that it's okay if you want monogrammed napkins, as long as it's what you truly want.  (This can be followed by a few tips on how several people have done it). 

But, isn't that what all weddings are/should be about?  Bringing your vision to life? Incorporating all those elements you hold dear and the embodiment of both your tastes and personalities?  Do we really need labels to define us as traditional vs. none?  Do you really need to have a Burning Man sculputre to be considered off-the-beaten-path?  I call bullshit to all that. In thinking that I could be a non-traditional bride, I am  one.  WEDDINGS ARE TRADITIONAL. So why do people write books, magazines, and blogs on how to be this "offbeat" bride, or the indie bride?  If in the end, we are all subscribing to the same principles for the most part: wedding registries, invitations, save the dates, special gowns and outfits whether taffeta-free or not, they're all the same, hiding under a different name.  Bottom line is, don't think you can classify your wedding or walk on the opposite side of the street just by following a few simple rules.  A wedding, is a wedding, is a wedding.  Independent?  That's marketing talk.

In  my case, I am trying to accept this fact, and I just need to focus on how to re-create the vision in my brain into a real-life event.  Whether that means lace or no lace, dry-insect lollipops as wedding favors or not, it's all still about a day when we will spend significant amounts of money all to commemorate or celebrate a formal union (AKA Wedding).

So that leaves me to think, is there really such a thing as offbeat?  Who is to say?

My (Our) Very Own Chateau

Finding your very own chateau in this urban jungle is like finding the perfect pair of shoes - on sale and in your size.  Luckily for me, I'm a size 6/6.5 depending on the shoe, which more often than not means that at least the sample size will be available and I can have my cake and eat it too.  But, this isn't always the case when you're looking for a wedding venue.  Your wedding's success rests heavily on the location. 

After looking at several places, all of them very much in line what we were looking for, I realized that I could go down this path endlessly if I let it.  After touring The Foundry and Smack Mellon Gallery, each time on the way home I harassed Fred about how we would never be able to find anything else like it - each time he proved me wrong.  Fred, being the cautious, tactical person that he is was not as easily impressed, so I knew that the right place would be one that he didnt feel so apprehensive about (besides me, he will never love anything more than he loves Gwar so I had to take his nod and run with it). 

The day we went to check out Metro (as I've heard it called) was no ordinary day.  It was my birthday and I was on the way home to the Bronx to spend the day with my parents.  We figured we could make a quick run and look-see on the way over despite the subway re-routing we had to deal with, and the torrential downpour that descended upon us that day. 

The Metropolitan Building is not much to look at on the outside.  Just another warehouse/factory brick monolith living happily among other similar-type buildings.  The first thing that came to mind even before going in was: "how will guests know this is a wedding venue?"  Fortunately, once inside the coin flipped.  We entered to find a smaller version of what the proud owner would compare to a French chateau, or in my eyes a Victorian home:  a little worn, a little shabby-chic, infused with vintage charm and character.  To me, it felt like that 6/6.5 shoe; it was pretty, and just my size.  While not on sale by any means, it was a good find and I was really hopeful that Fred would approve.

Several weeks later, after much research and convincing on my behalf, he signed.  And that's how our first big step into making-our-wedding-happen came to be.  With the place and date reserved, we could finally say that we had a wedding in the oven!


 "Everybody should live in a French chateau or the local equivalent thereof", Eleanor Ambos as quoted in The New York Times, April 16, 2006.

Location, Location, Location

There's a lot of debate around who first coined the term "location, location, location".  Some sources credit it back to realtors in the 1950's, but an earlier reference was found in the Yale Book of Quotations dating as far back as 1926 as covered in a New York Times article (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/28/magazine/28FOB-onlanguage-t.html), but regardless of who first coined it it's a triple-word phrase that means a lot.  If you're in cinema, it means the setting for your shoot; if it's Real Estate it means property value based on access to main roads, transportation, shops, schools, etc.; and for brides and grooms it means mood and setting for their special day.

When Fred and I finally decided to start looking at venues we toyed with a few options- destination wedding?  Given my heritage a destination wedding in Mexico sounded almost dreamy.  Imagine what it would be like to be married in one of Mexico's oldest colonial towns like that of San Miguel de Allende?  Old churches, haciendas, porticos; a beautiful wedding at sunset with the Mariachi serenading the nuptials.   But, that would mean inviting 99% of our family so that only 2% could attend.  That, plus dealing with long-distance wedding arrangements sounded a bit more complicated than what we could or would be able to manage.  We would need to keep it local- NYC.  Goodbye money.

We did not have a ton of criteria for our venue hunt; rather than must-have's we had must-not's, and our most important must-not was no multiple-wedding venues. With that, a shitload of options went right out the door, and with them probably the opportunity to save a bit on cost.  Country Clubs, Grand Prospect Halls-and-the like, sorry but we cannot consider you.   Thus, the venue-hunt process began and I was in charge.  I read blogs, online wedding directories, and the more mainstream wedding websites to the extent of what became a list of venues that had captured my interest and would require further research.  

First on my list were restaurants, off-the-beaten-path venues like lofts, galleries, museums, and church-halls.  (Until Fred plainly stated: "I am not getting married in a church").  We began with the restaurants and looked at one in particular in Astoria.  It was nice, and I'm sure the food was great, but there was something about that pre-determined feel to it that didn't move us the way we wanted.  It did not synch up with our tastes, or interests, or for that matter our personalities.  We checked restaurants off our list.

We then looked at what I thought was the perfect venue, The Foundry in LIC.  Beautiful, beautiful place.  Totally in synch with Fred and my personal taste.  But, there was a big BUT: beautiful venue, out of our price-range.  It was/is so nice that despite the lofty pricetag (and this is based on a media salary P.O.V please), we were willing to consider it.  But then I found that they don't allow lose flower petals.  Say what? One of my most loved traditional mexican wedding dances is called "the flowers".  It is a simple dance where guests armed with trays full of flower petals dance in front of the bride and groom and shower them with flowers as they go.  To not be able to have that, was not an option for me.  this made it so that we could give up on The Foundry with a lot more ease.

The galleries were among the last venues we looked at, but found that as awesome a settign as they can be, they're just very time sensitive.  Some of them wouldn't host weddings unless it was off-peak season, limiting us to when we could actually be married.  For Fall weddings it would be early September and late November only.  While that would've been okay, I wasn't really willing to work around my ideal wedding month.  I felt like I was giving up something special by compromising the wedding date.  My October is like many brides' June.  Despite this, we did find that the Smack Mellon Gallery in DUMBO, Brooklyn was absolutely fabulous.  High ceilings, exposed brick; what used to be an old Boiler building has since been turned into a magnicifent canvas for brides & grooms to paint their ideal wedding.  The grey, minimalist yet bold aesthetics make it so that all attention is on your wedding detail.  The concrete columns and huge windows overlooking the river & bridge provided the perfect backdrop.  But, we couldn't do it.  In the name of all things Autumn, October needed to be my month.

Finally, one day while browsing  blogs and reading listings on wedding-friendly sites, I came across this place in Long Island City called the Metropolitan Building.  It shared similar traits to The Foundry and the loft-like aesthetics we so loved about the gallery in Brooklyn, but different.  The pictures and information on the website was promising.  Then on October 3rd, a warm but rainy morning I called up and asked if I could arrange for a tour of the venue, and sure enough, we were offered to see it that same day - my birthday!  Coincidence?

The Proposal - What did people have to say?

Once the message was out, we got lots of congrats and good wishes from close friends, family, and co-workers.  But we also got some negatives from people viewing the posts- just like everything else, you can't please everyone!  Below are some of these posts from SheKnows.com:

By Amina Oct 3, 2009

this is so sweet.please say yes.

By dontsettle Sep 12, 2009

Dalila, For the love of mercy, you must say no. This guy is clearly out of his mind. No man thinks hair has personality. When the fit wears off, he's going to be one terrible guy to be around, and if you haven't already lost all respect for someone who would humiliate himself so pitifully in public, you soon will. You can do better.

By Vix Sep 8, 2009

Now thats something new folks! Way to go dude...god bless you both. #SayYesD !!!!

By Tanya Sep 8, 2009

way to go D..u are the luckiest woman in the world..god bless:-)

By Alex Sep 1, 2009

Hi! I am from India and read your love story which is very touching. Dalia I can make sure that your boyfriend loves you very much as he cares you a lot for sake of your smile. I can understand his feelings as I am also in love. He is the perfect match and soul mate for you. A woman wants her lifepartner who care her passionately and make her feel safe. He is the rite person "***SAY YESS**"

By Annie Aug 31, 2009

I remember you guys from school I think we took marketing together. I think this is great best of luck on your future together! Xoxo

By Al And Peggy Bundy Aug 31, 2009

Hey Fred me and the family got a couple things for ya one a fat woman came in to the shoe store today you already know that one Two whoa! Bundy! Three I hope you enjoy the married life wait til you have a kelly a bud and maybe even a seven oh god plese kill me! love the Bundys

 Even the Huff Post was wondering whether this was for real or not!  Sadly (not really), most people thought it was a marketing ploy! 

And this folks, is why you should leave work at work.  In our case, since we both work in the industry we knew what the real deal was, as well as the rest of our peers. Overall, we both enjoyed reading the posts - it was as though we were B list celebrities for a day!

This is the first day of my blog as I anxiously wait for these yams to bake!

I'm sitting on the couch next to my to-be-husband (I prefer that versus the typical fancy word: fiance) as he plays Magic The Gathering on Xbox and I realize it's time to get this wedding planning officially started! Woohoo! There! I've said it! It's time for me to go into full girly, happy, giggly, "I'm going to be married" mode.

Fred says: "it's not ever time for that"
(he gets to read what i write since he's sitting right here next to me)

So, I believe I need to start with why this blog is called D says Yes! instead of "Fred & Dalila: The Wedding" or "Fred & D Wed" or "Fred & Dalila realize they will be spending a shitload of money in a single day in the near future" - the truth is because if you are reading this you probably already know how my engagement went down. But in case you don't, it was an online social media proposal and it happened through work at work. He asked me to marry him via facebook, twitter, and posted the 10 reasons why i should say yes on a female lifestyle site called She Knows- we both work in Online advertising (he's a creative guy and I'm a media planner) which explains why he decided to do it via an online campaign (we both practically live at work). Pictures of this and the actual proposal to be posted tomorrow (hopefully). So, in answer to his viral campaign "Say Yes D", I say: "D says yes!".

So there, the "yes" has been said and now it is to make this happen! Married life (officially), here we come! And my yams should be done right about... now.