D Says Yes!

off our feet

2010-10-10T18:29:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite things about the wedding was the crowd "surfing". Tres fun!

we spent a lot of time mid-air.

i didn't mind.

Fred got his share:

FUN. FUN. FUN.

The centerpieces- corn husk flowers from Guatemala to NYC

2010-10-08T18:24:00.000-04:00

I was pretty happy with the way the centerpieces came out. I always knew i wanted to do my own centerpieces, but i just didn't know how to go about it. Incidentally, that's why my centerpices were the last thing that happened in my planning. I had many different centerpiece ideas ranging from paper flower arrangements to potted plants. I had at one point settled on using real fresh flowers, but then realized that this would be a challenge because i would have to work on them the day before the wedding leaving me no room for mistakes or mishaps. I researched and I researched, and one day I came across images of corn husk flowers on a Martha Stewart page, and that's when i had the grand idea that corn husk was the perfect item to use- natural, symbolic of harvest (autumn), and corn being a huge part of the mexican diet, it seemed perfectly appropriate.

My original idea with the corn husk flowers was to make them myself. Cut the corn husk into petals, bundle them and wire them together to form the shape of the flower. Luckily for me, one day Fred and I were at the Brooklyn Flea and that's when we saw a vendor selling corn husk flowers! The coincidence was too much to handle, but somehow one thing led to the next and before i knew it i was placing a bulk order for Red corn husk flowers. I knew i could order these in advance, have them shipped, and have time to work on the centerpieces well ahead of my wedding. Perfect.

In the end, the flowers ended up arriving exactly a week before my wedding but with the help of my sister and fred's mom, and my mom, we got it done!

Here's the end result!

I used tulle, lace, ribbon, and feathers to give them a bit of depth. But overall, i think they were pretty cool.

leave it to the pro's. I swear that if he had asked me to pick up dog poop and pose, i would've.

2010-10-06T15:49:00.000-04:00

Our photographer, Matthew Sowa, did a great job, at least from looking at the initial pics (something to keep us satisfied until the rest are finished). We felt like movie stars in the checker vintage cab and our vintage-esque look. And so far, we pretty happy with the outcome!

Actually, i was jumping around when i first saw these. I wasn't expecting this. If i could only look like this on a daily basis. Haha.

Tres romantique!

a mexican hora

2010-10-06T15:37:00.000-04:00

It's funny because Fred isn't really a practicing jew, but we wanted to make sure that the concept of multi-cultural harmony came through in our wedding. And when we found that our mariachi actually knew how to play the hora, it was inevitable not to at least attempt it.

You can check out the video here:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=159173814106281

the much awaited day... finally came

2010-10-06T15:28:00.000-04:00

I have to say that my wedding was actually more than I expected. I always thought i'd have a good time, and i was even ready for the "inevitable" mishap that comes along with the whole package, but throughout the night i kept coming to the realization that I loved the way everything came together in the end. I think i was the happiest i have been in a very long time on that very day; I think i kissed everyone that i came across more than once. I was in uber hug & kiss mode.

Suprisingly, I also found that some of my most last-minute throw-together's, things that I had paid the least attention to, actually happened to come together exceptionally well. One of my favorites being the box of magic markers that I had packed just in case we needed to make a last minute sign or something, and how they helped spark our guest's creative talents when it came time to signing our "guest book" (the guest book was really just a bunch of blank paper that we didn't have time to bind into a book that we realized we would have to do after the wedding).

Another cool thing was our cake topper. Our friend Sindee helped craft this out of legos! Funny enough one of our friends brought with him a lego figure that was a mexican guy with a sombrero, which of course we had to use instead of the existing lego groom just because it was so perfect and unexpected.

our other little lego groom is still out there, hanging out.

And of course, i also wasn't expecting to be crowd surfed on my wedding day for the very first time. But that also happened. Someone has to have a picture of that somewhere. haha. It was fantastic!

So, all in all, i'm very happy that a year's worth of planning ended on such a high note, at least for me. I couldn't have asked for anything else.

:)

I'm baaaack!

2010-08-10T21:22:00.000-04:00

It's been a while, I know, but I'm back.

It's like 50something days till wedding day and we are still trying to wrap up some loose ends... and boy are there several.

Here's the progress we've made so far:
my wedding band- check
cake- check
car - check
invitations- check
flowers- in progress
Fred's wedding band-check
officiant questionnaire- check
camera - check ( i wanted a digital SLR camera and Fred bought it for me!)

So, somehow things begin to fall into place. I only really hope that i don't forget to pay attention to the little things. Those things that seem little and insignifican, but end up being what people remember the most.

This weekend Fred and I are gonna be checking out spots in LIC for photographs... so... i'm excited!

To Wear Or Not To Wear Your Heart On Your Ass And/Or Puss

2010-05-23T23:25:00.000-04:00

All I can say is... really?

lucky him i guess.

I guess many are claiming it?

or else the surprise is ruined

has it been, or will it be?

Anyway, this can go on and on... but just because you can be super expressive, doesn't mean you should be.

The Wedding Bouquet

2010-05-23T19:54:00.000-04:00

So, in the area of wedding bouquets the options are endless; the most common of course is the traditional flower bouquet that the bride will hold as she walks down the aisle to the arms of her lover. Then, there are those that are not so common- and this is where adventurous and creative brides rule.

Below are some pretty interesting wedding bouquets- redefined by those brides that like to walk the road less traveled.

Check 'em out:

this would be for the bride that will marry her Poseidon.

for the bride that loves butterflies.

for the bride that likes her origami.

This is a bouquet made out of wheat branches, interesting!

The button bouquet

more origami.

Silk flower bouquet with a bunch of cool colors.

the peacock feather bouquet if you like flamboyancy

This is a really nice soft feather bouquet

and this lovely red one.

You can find these and more on Etsy.com.

As for my bouquet--- i'm still trying to determine what that will be.

More wedding to-do's- the decor

2010-05-19T20:48:00.000-04:00

I yearned for this day to come, the day when i would finally be able to honker down and start doing "the fun stuff"- wedding decorations. I waited patiently for months, trying to focus on the big ticket items so as not to get distracted and lose sight of the things that needed to get taken care of in advance: venue, dress, shoes, music, food, officiant, etc. But those days are now behind me (us) and I can begin to think about color scheme, decorations, those things that pull it all together and bring your theme to life.

I began doing a bit of research a few months and discovered this site: colourlovers.com a community of people united by one central interest: color. Here you can create your own color palettes and patterns. YOu can even name your "color" if it hasn't yet been "discovered" by the community.

Here are a few of my palettes inspired by the wedding venue and Frida that I think will help bring the theme (Modern Vintage with a Mexican Twist) to life:

Color by COLOURlovers

and

Color by COLOURlovers

Las Dos Fridas was literally inspired by the painting. I don't think that i can use those colors, but I like it anyway.

Here's the pic it's based on:

So, there you have it, and i think i need to keep creating more palettes. It's quite fun! Hopefully i'll be able to nail down the final one very soon!

a veil i always knew i wanted, but now that i have it, i don't know how to wear it!

2010-05-03T23:17:00.000-04:00

When I realized I was getting married, I already knew what my "look" would be. I've always had a soft spot for the vintage celebration of femininity and knew that I wanted lace, lots of it. I also knew what sort of veil I wanted- the birdcage type; it speaks of a different era and its femininity is less puritan and more so that of a woman with confidence and flirtatious style. Maybe i'm just making shit up.

Last week I received my birdcage veil, and that's when I found that I have no clue how to wear it! It's quite funny actually because I have seen hundreds of pictures of models wearing these and never did it occur to me that well, it probably looked easier on "paper"! And that's how my research began.

Veil source: LoBoheme, Etsy.com

So class, here's a bit of history on the wedding veil courtesy of Wikipedia, some of the history is quite interesting.

History

The first recorded instance of veiling for women is recorded in an Assyrian legal text from the 13th century BCE, which restricted its use to noble women and forbade prostitutes and common women from adopting it. Ancient Greek texts have also spoken of veiling and seclusion of women being practiced among the Persian elite. Statues from Persepolis depict women both veiled and unveiled, and it seems to be regarded as an attribute of prostitution.

Classical Greek and Hellenistic statues sometimes depict Greek women with both their head and face covered by a veil. Caroline Galt and Lloyd Llewellyn-Jones have both argued from such representations and literary references that it was commonplace for women (at least those of higher status) in ancient Greece to cover their hair and face in public.

For many centuries, until around 1175, Anglo-Saxon and then Anglo-Norman women, with the exception of young unmarried girls, wore veils that entirely covered their hair, and often their necks up to their chins (see wimple). Only in the Tudor period(1485), when hoods became increasingly popular, did veils of this type become less common.

[...]

Wedding veils

An occasion on which a Western woman is likely to wear a veil is on her wedding day, if she follows the traditions of a white wedding. Brides used to wear their hair flowing down their back at their wedding to symbolise their virginity, now the white diaphanous veil is often said to represent this.

It is not altogether clear that the wedding veil is a non-religious use of this item, since weddings have almost always had religious underpinnings, especially in the West: in the Christian tradition this is expressed in the Gospel passage, "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder" (Mt. 19:6). Veils, however, had been used in the West for weddings long before this. Roman brides, for instance, wore an intensely flame-colored and fulsome veil, called the flammeum, apparently intended to protect the bride from evil spirits on her wedding day.

The lifting of the veil was often a part of ancient wedding ritual, symbolising the groom taking possession of the wife, either as lover or as property, or the revelation of the bride by her parents to the groom for his approval.

In Judaism, the tradition of wearing a veil dates back to biblical times. When Rebekah went to meet her betrothed, Isaac, she veiled herself as he approached. The veiling was both a symbol of modesty, and a definition of her personal space. Rebekah is known as the most self-assured of the matriarchs, and by veiling herself she indicated that she would still be her own person even when she would be living her life with Isaac. ^[8]. It is important to note that Rebekah did not veil herself when traveling with men to meet Isaac, but only did so when he was approaching. Just before the wedding ceremony the badeken or bedeken is held. The groom places the veil over the bride's face, and either he or the officiating Rabbi gives her a blessing. The veil stays on her face until just before the end of the wedding ceremony - when they are legally married according to Jewish law - then the groom helps lift the veil from off her face.

The most often cited interpretation for the badeken is that when Jacob went to marry Rachel, his father in law Laban tricked him into marrying Leah, Rachel's older and homlier sister. Many say that the veiling ceremony takes place to make sure that the groom is marrying the right bride! Some say that as the groom places the veil over his bride, he makes an implicit promise to clothe and protect her. Finally, by covering her face, the groom recognizes that he his marrying the bride for her inner beauty; while looks will fade with time, his love will be everlasting. in some ultra-orthodox traditions the bride wears an opaque veil as she is escorted down the aisle to meet her groom. This shows her complete willingness to enter into the marriage and her absolute trust that she is marrying the right man. In Judaism, a wedding is not considered valid unless the bride willingly consents to it.

In ancient Judaism the lifting of the veil took place just prior to the consummation of the marriage in sexual union. The uncovering or unveiling that takes place in the marriage ceremony is a symbol of what will take place in the marriage bed. Just as the two become one through their words spoken in wedding vows, so these words are a sign of the physical oneness that they will consummate later on. The lifting of the veil is a symbol and an anticipation of this.

In the Western world, St. Paul's words concerning how marriage symbolizes the union of Christ and His Church may underlie part of the tradition of veiling in the marriage ceremony ^[9].

The Shoe Dilemma

2010-04-11T19:21:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I really like shoes. When I was in college I did a mini documentary or video piece for one of my classes about shoes; how they're a reflection of the wearer's personality. At first i thought there would be instances where it wouldn't hold true, but to my surprise, I don't think I came across a single one of them. Then again, I think you can say the same about many things: hair, handbags, accessories, etc. But I chose shoes.

Take the following people for example:
Molly- has a pair (that i've seen) of Chanel boots, not sure if she owns a pair of Louboutin's but I wouldn't be surprised if she did
Fred - only wears skater shoes and paratrooper boots
Stanley - Merrel's that I can remember

I would even say I have my own style, which Fred most often than not describes as "awful, gaudy, old-lady-like", except for when i wear the black and red tartan Doc's (those he likes). So finding the right pair of shoes for my wedding is well, a bit of a task. I've always chosen my shoes based on whether they're fun, spontaneous, practical, or safe. The later usually reserved for the office. But a wedding is different, they have to match my dress, fit well, and above all, I have to be able to walk in them.

I've been browsing and so far here are some audacious options that are way out of my price range. Sad thing is that I actually wouldn't mind paying the price, but knowing that I wouldn't wear them past the wedding reception makes any of these options highly unlikely.

Christian Louboutin - Spiked Patent Pump
Price $885
(yep those are spikes indeed)

Oscar de la Renta - Jewel-toe Platform Pump
Price $685

Yves Saint Laurent - Chloris 105 Sandal
Price $895

Ralph Lauren - Jacoba Metallic Napa Sandal
Price $1,150
(those are Swarovski crystals)

Christian Louboutin - Glitter Slingback Platform Pump
Price $745

Christian Louboutin - Hidden-Platform Pump
Price $795
(these look fun but not dressy enough)

Christian Louboutin - Fetilo Peep-toe Pumps
Price $995

source: NeimanMarcus.com, Saks.com

The Photog

2010-03-21T18:59:00.000-04:00

We have finally decided on a photographer! Woohoo!

Wedding Pics

2010-03-16T22:22:00.002-04:00

I found this picture today from our friend's wedding. That's Fred, Kyo, and Me. Kyo has the bride's garter around his wrist.

The Metropolitan Building- perfectly imperfect

2010-03-14T17:57:00.000-04:00

Fred has always said that the reason he and I are a perfect match is because of our imperfections.

The venue where we will be wed has similar characteristics. The Metropolitan Building used to be an old factory back in the day until it was bought in the 80's by Eleanor Ambos. She bought the place up for quite a ridiculous sum (compared to what that building is worth today) and used it to store all her antique furnishings. Eventually, she began to rent the space for private events.

Bill Cosby was the first to host a party here. Soon the place was also used for film and photo shoots due to the vast array of furnishings and exposed brick walls that are hard to come by under one roof. Today, the place is hugely popular and hosts a bunch of weddings each year.

There two floors that are used for weddings, the fourth and second. Fred and I chose the second floor because it's smaller and has what to me seemed to be a somewhat Victorian home type of feel. The built-in bookshelves are stacked with books, and the shabby chandeliers, mingling nicely with exposed pipe work, seem to be a humble version of the more arrogant types you find at the bigger halls. On this floor there are also two little rooms that are perfect for private lounge areas, or even a changing room if a bride so wishes. And, there's a real bathroom with bathtub and all. So technically it's a little home living happily in the guts of an old brick monolith building in the middle of LIC.

It's going to be really hard to pimp this place up for the wedding- it already has so much charm and character.

The Wedding Cake Situation

2010-03-07T17:54:00.000-05:00

"Let them eat cake!"

Or not.

I'm still debating whether to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding cake. Fred is so cute, he thought he would surprise me with a wedding cake from Charm City Cakes (and hopefully have Geoff deliver it) only to find that such a "charming" gesture would cost him at least $3-grand... enough said.

The reality is that I don't know how much people care for cake. It's so expected that it's hardly exciting. But then the whole cup-cake thing is already very yesterday. So what's left?

I still don't know... we have some time to mull this over, but here's a thought:

My Favorites from our Mexico Trip

2010-03-06T14:03:00.000-05:00

I'm so happy... :)

Check out Fred with the farmer's tan. This is WHY we are NOT going to HAWAII for a HONEYMOON.
Plus, Paris is tres chic!

And... This was in our favorite town in Mexico- Coyoacan (not that we've been to many places in Mexico, but we really liked this one). I think this is where Fred first came to the realization that not all Mexico is a stereotype. This is what happens when you never leave the States.

NYC home away from home... and John Lennon. Really? It's not all about Ranchero music?
Yep, it was that fucking awesome.

Coyoacan is known for its Nieves... or ice's. They come in all sorts of delicious flavors. To be perfectly honest, even after we knew not to drink the water, i had to have a lemon nieve. And, i didn't get any more sick than i already was. :) It was FAN-TAS-TIC!

Below is what is called a "chelada". Beer with lime and salt on the rim.

This is my bitch... Frida. The reason I dragged my all-american boyfriend south of the border. And it was worth it.

And my big head eclipsing the Palacio de Bellas Artes behind me.

This is a dulceria en El Centro donde venden unos dulces para morirse. Creo que compre varios para traer de regreso a los EU, pero nunca llegaron porque nos lo comimos.

And the Tlacoyos were my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. You can ask Fred. All I did was prop down on upside down plastic buckets and go to town on these bad boys. Screw the pollution and the dirt, and all bad things that you ingest when you eat street food. I ate my last tlacoyo at about 1130am the last day we were there, mere hours before we got back on a plane.

waiting was worth it...

I can hardly wait to retire to Mexico (don't tell Fred). Shhh.

Thank God for MySpace & Check Out My LONG HAIR!

2010-03-06T13:33:00.000-05:00

Why? Because I lost probably about a thousand pictures last year after a bad incident with my laptop. I was so sad to lose my Mexico pictures, mostly the Frida 100th Anniversary trip Fred and I took to DF last year. That particular trip is of huge significance to me because it wasn't just any trip, it was Fred's first out of the States, and our first real trip as a couple together. I can almost cry... I'm so happy to have recovered these.

Kill Two Birds With One Stone (why kill?)

2010-03-05T21:36:00.000-05:00

I will share what progress has been made, and what has yet to be made as the months/weeks/day wind down to the day when I shall be wed. I mean, we shall be wed (I try to include "we" in everything so that Fred has no excuse to say that this wedding is all me.)

Venue- check
Date -check
Caterer- check
Mariachi- check
DJ - check
Dress - check
Save the Dates - check. DIY project courtesy of my lovely, lovely, somewhat patient and forgiving husband-to-be FRED (muahhh!)

Next in the list:
Photographer
Officiant
Invitations (another DIY project)
Bridal accessories (bouquet, shoes, veil)
Decorations (flowers, centerpieces, etc. etc.)
Program

There. I made a list of things I have yet to do, and I shared my progress with you all.

I'm officially less than 7 months away from the wedding day.

The elusive photographer

2010-03-05T21:24:00.000-05:00

... I thought no one would notice that I stopped sharing my bridal travails, but as it turns out, at least my fellow co-workers have noticed. I don't really know where I am in this wedding process except that I still need a damn photographer. The problem being that I'm not all that impressed by all the one's I've seen or reached out to so far. I'm a photog. snob. Yes I am.

Why?

Because I love photography, I took photography courses in college, one of them was Photojournalism, and I believe I have a discerning eye for talent. Not only was I a great photography student, but my prof. liked my work so much that he offered me an internship as an assistant photographer for the Newsday paper. But, I needed to have a car to drive around, and I didn't even have a license at the time, so I had to pass on what at the time seemed like an awesome opportunity (especially for a media student).

Or maybe fate had it so that I would work in advertising instead.

Regardless, i'm a photog. snob and I am afraid of hiring the wrong person to record this most highly important event in my/fred's life. You only get one shot at it, and if it's not the right shot, there's no do-over. I also saw some portfolios of those that charge a lot and the reality is that their style is not that different from those who charge less. You really have to look at the style and skill involved, price is irrelevant.

This is the toughest decision yet. But one that I will not let get to me.

Stay tuned for the outcome...

D

C'est Love

2010-02-11T23:27:00.000-05:00

It's the spontaneous, unscripted, during-commercial-break moments that hint at true love. they don't scream.

The Engagement Ring. A Vintage and Modern Expression of Love

2010-02-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

My engagement ring is inspired by a vintage setting with filigree in the band and small diamonds around the crown in what resembles a cupcake (that's what I've been told). This is the ring that jumped at me from the lot and the one that felt like "me". But, two of my friends through work got engaged this year and received actual vintage engagement rings. Marnie's has a really nice stone with what's called an Old Mine Cut. I did a bit of research and found that this cut was very common in the 1800's and that it was mostly mined in India, whereas most of the other diamonds today are mined in South Africa. What makes this cut different from other more traditional and "modern" cuts is that it's flat at the bottom versus the pointed kinds, it's squarish but with rounded edges.

On a similar vein, I also found that this same year two other girls (one of them my friend Melissa) decided for non-diamond engagement rings. Another way to make a statement! One chose aquamarine as the center stone and Mel's is a beautiful pear-shaped amethyst with two side stones.

Overall I think it's a breath of fresh air to see that the engagement ring, as traditional as it is, is being interpreted and adapted to each bride's unique taste.

Trigger Happy A.K.A The Wedding Registry

2010-01-29T22:30:00.001-05:00

There are two schools of thought regarding the infamous and not-so-famous Wedding Registry. Macy's, Sears, Bloomingdales, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target, etc. all thrive from couples listing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise for their weddings... all on someone else's tab. The notion that people actually create these "wish lists" is appaling to some; how can people actually ask for things, that is just too materialistic and shallow. Then there are those who think that not having a wedding registry makes it harder on your guests, those who want to give you a gift that's not cash, because not only will they have to wonder what you guys would want or enjoy, but you will most like end up with 5 blenders, 3 toasters, and 2 ironing boards (do they still sell those?)

I think in this regard we have to be aware of one thing: we are after all throwing a big party to celebrate a marriage A.K.A a wedding. The minute you decide to spend thousands (which is the norm) of dollars on a celebration that will require the presence of many a guest, you are essentially already setting the expectation that if they are to be good guests they should not arrive empty-handed. And that would imply "asking" for something in return for the invitation. So personally, I think that if you're going to move forward with a wedding in the tradional sense, then you might as well have a registry. Tell it like it is. Don't put a blusher on it.

Fred is of the belief that you shouldn't "ask" for things. I agree. But, it's also common for people these days to expect to see a wedding/gift registry. And there are ways you can go about it without feeling like you're "asking". One such way is to not tell people of your registry, let them find it on their own if they're interested in knowing what you have in your "wish list" (I guess I already ruined that option with this blog entry). If they don't want to contribute a gift from a predetermined registry then they don't have to feel bad about not doing so either. I have a friend who would never give something from a predetermined list. He believes that part of the excitement is to come up with a gift that is as unique as the giver as well as the receiver.

Fred and I don't always agree on things, and that's fine. In the end, these sort of things are irrelevant, and he knows that not arguing over it is more important than having or not having a list. So I appease his distaste by adding two coffee percolators to the registry... just for him (he loves coffee, I don't drink it).

Wedding Magic Ebbs and Flows

2010-01-23T22:15:00.000-05:00

I just realized as I sit here telling Fred that all I have is $7 for takeout tonight for the sushi order (yep, I was home all day and I did not cook) that I haven't been doing much upkeep with this blog here. Is it wedding-planning-magic all along? I wonder if this is normal. There are days when i'm truly into this and in full planning mode, and enjoying it, and then there are days like today when all I can think about is lounging around and watching movies all day. Then I realize that I'm just being lazy and super unproductive and that I should at least say "hi" to the blog.

Well here I am, and the funny thing is that as soon as I begin to write I start thinking of a zillion things to discuss, but then I realize that I should save some of them and not give them all up one-shot. You know, is like trying to get that sudden brain juice stored away somewhere for use on future low-juice" days.

I shouldn't be so hard on myself however. There have been several things that I have accomplished in the past weeks. Here's my list:

1. When in "the mood", I have actually been browsing the heck out of etsy in search for inspiration and wedding ideas. I have a folder in my computer where I save screengrabs of things that catch my interest including hand-made wedding bouquets that do not include real flowers, and custom shoe paint jobs- it's like graffiti for shoes.

Here's a pair of shoes from CocoPunkz. This particular style is called "Obsessions". Now that's what I'm talking about. I haven't decided on a design for my shoes, but you bet I'm counting on a snazzy pair made just for me, for my big day! Is it possible to adjust the saying to "wear your heart on your feet"?

2. Wedding Gown. This matter has been taken care of. I found a fabulous dress through The Cotton Bride that I cannot wait to wear! Yep, when I wore that dress I knew it was right because I didn't want to take it off. That's just what it feels like. All you want to do is stand in front of the mirror staring at yourself in that dress. Shallow, perhaps.
(wedding bell rings... I mean door bell rings, sushi is here)
My only fear is that I was told not to GAIN weight. A lot of brides LOSE weight either through dieting or simply from stress. In my case, I think I have been this size/weight for years now, but what if all of a sudden my metabolism fails me and I end up putting on a few pounds? Then what? I've never had to worry about gaining weight, in fact it has been encouraged. This is the first time I'm actually worried and realize... shit, what if I don't fit into my dress?

3. Wedding couples meet and greet. Our caterer (The Raging Skillet) organized a soiree for about 5/6 wedding couples this past Friday and treated us to nice wine and hors d'ouvres. I got to talk to other couples that like us, are in full wedding planning mode. Overall, it was nice to be able to talk JUST WEDDING TALK without feeling guilty (because your friends don't always want to hear about your wedding planning actually) or being obnoxious. Everyone was on the same page,and it seemed that almost everyone had relevant information to share with at least one other couple. We found that one of the couples is getting married at our same venue, the day before us! I was telling Fred: we should make conversation with them and try to talk them into leaving their table centerpieces and flower arrangements behind for us to re-use the next day. Haha. Ghetto. But, the table was long, the wine was flowing, and we were too comfortable talking with those directly next to us, and that possibility got away. But, before the night was over I did get a contact for a Photographer from one other couple. I'll be checking out her portfolio pretty soon.

Bottom line is that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Woman does not live from wedding magic alone. Oh no, that's why I have a mantra to keep me in check: "the day this wedding becomes a chore, it will cease to be fun". I won't let it get to that point. It's like a relationship, you need time apart once in a while. Otherwise you'd suffocate.

Vena Amoris

2010-01-10T23:17:00.000-05:00

Latin for "vein of love" is said to be the reason why we wear our engagement rings on the fourth finger (the ring finger) of our left hand. The story/tale/myth dates this back to the Egyptians who believed this vein led directly from the heart to the ring finger on our left hand. Whether this was an actual belief or not is debated, but whoever/whatever started this tradition was damn successful at getting it to stick around!

What's in a name? To hyphenate or not?

2010-01-09T23:38:00.000-05:00

Juliet:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

We all know the infamous line of Romeo & Juliet- the doomed lovers and their warring families. Here precisely, Juliet is saying that a name is just a name, but it's the essence of the "name" that makes it so. You can change a name, but the person behind the name you can never change- the being, the object itself, its raison d'etre. So who cares if he's a Montague and she's a Capulet, what matters is the being attached to the name and their love for each other. Sighhhhhh!

For us Juliettes (I hope that's plural) or brides-to-be, the moment arrives when all of a sudden you wonder if you're in fact going to change your name or not. I was having dinner with my girlfriends the other night and realized that this appears to be a question that a lot of brides debate with. Particularly nowadays when women are industry leaders, entrepreneurs, run to be candidates for US presidency- when, as they say - the glass ceiling is broken... is there a need to change your name and adapt your husband's? That would be like giving up a piece of your identity wouldn't it? At said dinner my friend mentioned, quite casually actually, that she is hyphenating. She will be keeping her last name and adding on his. That didn't surprise any of us in the room, it's a valid want, but she also brought up a good point... why can't he hyphenate? He can, legally, but why do most men choose not to?

Personally, I'm not a feminist. I like to have chairs pulled, doors opened, be given the right of way, I think it's nice. Shit, I would like that if I were a man too! I don't need to label myself as anything to enjoy my rights as a human being, and while at it enjoy my womanhood in whatever way that may be, as long as it makes me happy. However, I do admire those bra-burners, and women's rights activist, because they were valiant; they believed in something and they fought to have their voices heard when others were afraid to speak up. And I think it's important to acknowledge that, and to question the why of things. In this case, my friend observed that her fiancee wouldn't change his name, so why should she? But, she compromised, she would hyphenate. Is there anything wrong with that? Is that still kowtowing to a "man-made" world? I don't think so. The reality, to me at least, is that you gotta do what you want and what feels right to you. Tradition will always be present in some way shape or form. Did I mention we are getting married? And not just any marriage of sorts, but the sort that involves wedding gowns, and bouquets, and bridesmaids and all that jazz. So maybe tradition is not such a bad thing right?

In my case, I think i'm going full Monty. I love my man. I'm a woman in a world of broken glass ceilings (and other things). I love my man. And like Juliet, a name change won't change who I am, because at the end of the day it is my hair, my eyes, my bones and cells that make me who I am. To adopt Fred's last name would simply complete this fairytale picture for me. It would be my metamorphosis into the said wife of the man whose babies I want to have! (I love my ovaries and I want to put them to use one day and house a living human inside my body, because apparently I'm also an alien by any other name). Plus, I have already sounded out my name with his last name, and I think it sounds quite right. In fact, I think it sounds quite formal and established, like that of a writer. Unlike Juliet, a name DOES mean a lot... it means making sure you're not in-breeding. Right?

So, what's in a name is what you want it to be. Whether hyphenated or not, you're still going to have to go through a shitload of paperwork just to add his name onto yours (at least that's what I've heard), unless of course you're just keeping your maiden name (which is technically your father's last name) in which case, well, it's still just a man's world ain't it?

I think that's why I work in advertising. What's in a name? Why, whatever you want it to be, of course!

Wedding Checklist - 275 Days to go!

2010-01-01T13:05:00.001-05:00

It's Day 1 of the New Year and I can't help but count down the days left to our wedding day! We are at 275 days from our big day- day when Fred and Dalila officially tie the knot. Oh the young couple, to be them! (or not!).

Anyway, of the many, many checklists there's one from Real Simple Weddings Magazine that's detachable and comes in this handy 4x6 portable size (more or less). Here's what/where it says is customary for the following time frames and where I stand in the process:

Sixteen to Nine Months Before:
Start Wedding Folder - NO (maybe I'll do that today since I already have contracts to file away)
Work out the budget - YES (although it is really a work in progress)
Build your wedding party - NOT HAVING ONE
Settle on a headcount - YES (hope it works)
Book the date and venues - DONE
Book the officiant - NO (I had it taken care of until my friend's marriage license was deemed no longer valid)
Research photographers, caterers, florists, etc - YES
Insert vendor contact information into master sheet - NO
Throw Engagement Party - NO (I will not be throwing one)

Eight Months Before: (I'm at 9 months before right now)

Book the photographer and videographer - NO (I need to get on that this month)
Book entertainment - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? HIRE A MAGICIAN?
Register - YES. (I've been doing that since before I was engaged)
Purchase a dress - WIP. (Have an appt. coming up where I hope to take care of that matter)
Start meeting caterers - DONE
Launch a wedding website -? Does my blog count? Probably Not. (FRED- GET ON IT!)

And then there's Seven-to-Six months before, Five-to-Four, etc., etc.

I think we're in a good place right now. No need to get all stressed out over what a piece of paper tells you. For the moment, I have better things to do... like go heat up those pork tamales my mom made yesterday and have them for breakfast...
(it's the blog before you eat rule)

New Year, New You!

2010-01-01T12:09:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! Here's to a great 2010!

Something Old, Something New - 2009, 2010

2009-12-31T20:28:00.000-05:00

Today officially marks the end of the calendar year 2009 and the start of a new year - a new beginning. We begin to make New Year's resolutions including: diets and weight loss, money saving, volunteer work, exercise, love, travel, etc., etc. In my case, I never remember what I resolved to do at the beginning at the year by the time the 31st rolls around, but here are some good things from 2009:

Work- with the economy in the shitter companies began to cut back their staff, I was fortunate enough to keep my job
Health- I don't recall using a single sick day at work this year
Love- Into the 6th year with Fred and still going strong, now newly engaged
Family- It's been great to have

Things to improve in 2010:
Try to be more understanding of others. A hard one, but we'll see...
Work on my patience. Patience, after all, is a virtue no?
Try to put to practice what skills I've learned. Maybe I will put that sewing machine to use in 2010!
Read more! There's plenty of good stuff out there...
Learn a form of meditation

Hopefully, by the time I'm updating this a year from now, I can trace back some sort of progress.

:)

Here's to my last year as a single woman! What?! Haha!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory & My Wedding

2009-12-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

What do these have in common? Nothing of course! But today, Fred and I booked our caterer, and I could not help but realize that several years of savings were to be no more...

But that's when I remembered the line from Grandpa George in Tim Burton's version of CTCF- the scene where Charlie wants to sell his Golden ticket for money instead of going to the Factory. And this is what his Grandpa tells him:

Grandpa George: There's plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there's only five of them in the whole world, and that's all there's ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?

So this is what Grandpa George would tell ME!

Grandpa George: There's plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this [wedding], there's only [ONE of them like it] in the whole world, and that's all there's ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?

NO GRANDPA GEORGE! I AM NOT A DUMMY!

:)

Smart Phones and Cheap Dates

2009-12-27T21:40:00.001-05:00

Making time to plan your wedding is a challenge we all face, especially if your work hours range from 11 to 12 each day. Finding time to take care of calls and emails while at work may be an option, but it is not always the best. Do you really want your co-workers hearing every single aspect and detail of your wedding? To the point where they get to know what lingerie you will wear on your special day or even what wedding details you have to cut because your budget isn't big enough? No. And trust me, being on the other side isn't fun either- who cares? So then what do you do? You get a smart phone, and you go on cheap dates!

The smart phone allows you to update your blog remotely, and the cheap date buys you time and saves you money. Take for example today: we planned an afternoon out, Fred took me to get a Mani , $10; went to get tickets to Sherlock Holmes, $22; ate on the inexpensive side but avoided chain restaurants (Pizzeria that offers savory deliciousness such as baked clams and shrimp fra Diavlo), $40; bought tix for movie with three hours in between to browse stores and hit the bookstore for arts and crafts projects and other DIY ideas, $0.

It is within those three hours that I ate dinner, bought myself a winter hat, scribbled down several wedding ideas, emailed Fred's mom to help me gather materials for those DIY projects, and posted to my blog. Now, as I wait in line to hand in my movie ticket I feel highly accomplished!

Had I tried to do this at home I probably would have ended up watching another bad Mystery Science Theatre 3000 movie.

Please excuse any typos as I am posting this from my iPhone.

No 1 Way to Plan a Wedding

2009-12-27T12:58:00.002-05:00

It's one thing to be on the road to marriage, and it's another to be on this journey with a few of your closest friends. Two of my close friends from college are also in the midst of wedding planning: Molly's is next August and Melissa's in April the following year, mine falls in the middle. And it's amazing to see how different each of our approaches to wedding planning is. Melissa has a binder and a tote for all her wedding accouterments, Molly uses Facebook to share her bridal-bliss tidings and Bridezilla moments, and I have a blog and a small notebook where I jot down thoughts and notes. We all then have a few other essentials to help us in our journey, mine include The Martha Stewart Encyclopedia of Arts & Crafts among them, but we all have an individual approach to our big day, and that's the point!

We will continue to have our bridal gatherings as Molly's wedding draws near (Melissa and I will both be bridesmaids at her wedding), pick out our bridesmaids dresses, and at the same time scout for our own wedding gowns - oh to be a bridesmaid and a bride all in the span of two months!

Our Last "Single" Christmas!

2009-12-24T22:25:00.000-05:00

We were at my parents house today for Nochebuena (Christmas Eve) feasting on tamales, tostadas, and pozole, and Fred brought to my attention the following: "this is our last Christmas before we are married". It is! Although we are well aware that nothing will change next year, it is quite a realization. Who knows, maybe the tables will turn and the expectations will change. I may be expected to start hosting Christmas, and New Years and such... after all, I will be a wife won't I? Well maybe I will! What's the use of all these traditions if you can't have fun with them! Turning 16 or turning 21 wouldn't be as fun if we treated them as just another birth anniversary would they?

Tonight and tomorrow will be extra special; this may mean an extra bottle of wine, a romantic evening (imagines romantic music playing in the background), a super nice gift, or something as simple as a nice cup of hot chocolate and a crepe with nutella and bananas, like the one he's preparing for me now. I hope we can keep our low-key-romantic love potion brewing for many years to come...

What's a bride to do? Why, turn to her groom of course!

2009-12-20T22:15:00.001-05:00

I have no idea what to make of all these wedding timelines. There are so many books and checklists on things to do 12 months, 9, months, 3 months, ... , leading up to your wedding. Things like: when to announce your engagement, when to pick your bridal party, when to send your Save-the-Date's, when to start looking at dresses, when to book the photographer, etc., etc. If it were up to me I'd start with the fun things first: dress, decorations, invitations, party favors... in other words BACKWARDS! But, that's the icing on top, you leave the good for last. We first need to deal with the big-ticket items: venue, caterer, music, and photography, those are the pillars. After that, it should be all about filling in the gaps.

Nailing down the details on the BTI's (Big Ticket Items) is not as easy as it sounds. It can be quite painstaking. At the end of the day, if you're research oriented, as in my case, there is endless amounts of information that will make your head spin faster than a [ word of your choice goes here]. In the end, decisions are influenced by user reviews of some sort of other. We sealed the deal on the venue after I found reviews about it in blogs and an edit piece in The New York Times (can't overlook The Gray Lady), all pointing in the right direction. But that's as far as we've gotten, there's still a ton more to do...

With all the to-do's there's only one thing couples can do, share the responsibilities. Getting Fred involved however can be tricky; while he may not have an opinion, he does have a say (does that make sense?). He's not about helping choose the flower arrangements or the table linens (he'll let me have it my way as long as I keep a few things in mind: the budget and the open bar), but I still need his approval before committing to anything. Fortunately for us, communication is a key ingredient in our relationship. Without it, we couldn't function as a couple given our opposing tastes. What ended up happening was a meeting of the minds. I expressed to him my need to have his assistance, and he agreed as long as I was willing to guide him and give him direction. Thus I would become the research point-person coming up with the list of venues, caterers, DJ's, etc., and he would be the one helping reach out to get pricing details and all that other fun stuff.

I promised Fred that I would not be a "Bridezilla"; that I would be a normal human planning our wedding day, and that I would not subject him to torture nor torment. I'm happy to report that thus far it's all been good. I really like the ways things are going; I want to enjoy planning my wedding, not arguing my way to it. Let's hope we can keep it up!

Happy D = Happy Fred = Happy D = Happy Fred = Happy D = Happy Fred
(I think you get the point)

Readings On How (Not) To Be A Traditonal Bride.

2009-12-14T12:45:00.000-05:00

I've been reading this book I picked up at Barnes & Noble the other day by Ariel Meadow Stallings called Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives For Independent Brides and I still don't know what to make of it. See, when I got involved with this whole wedding project I realized that I wanted to be CEO, co-CFO (have to share that title with Fred), CMO, and all the other C-O's because I want a wedding that is as representative of our tastes and personalities as much as possible, and only I could control and enforce that.

I didn't want to read all these bridal magazines because they can be overwhelming, it's like having a million people telling you what or how you could be doing things. I want this to be organic, off-the-cuff as much as possible. Fred knows I am a jack of all trades master of none; I like to learn new things and I don't always put them to practice. Why should my (our) wedding be any different? I have plenty of artistic and creative minds in my close circle of family and friends to help me in that area; I don't need to pay to be given ideas, nor do I need to feel subjected to follow a specific pattern. And this is when I thought I was being offbeat and so I went ahead and bought the book to re-assure me of my conviction. The reality is that it ladders up to a singular message: do what makes you happy and be willing to accept that it's okay if you want monogrammed napkins, as long as it's what you truly want. (This can be followed by a few tips on how several people have done it).

But, isn't that what all weddings are/should be about? Bringing your vision to life? Incorporating all those elements you hold dear and the embodiment of both your tastes and personalities? Do we really need labels to define us as traditional vs. none? Do you really need to have a Burning Man sculputre to be considered off-the-beaten-path? I call bullshit to all that. In thinking that I could be a non-traditional bride, I am one. WEDDINGS ARE TRADITIONAL. So why do people write books, magazines, and blogs on how to be this "offbeat" bride, or the indie bride? If in the end, we are all subscribing to the same principles for the most part: wedding registries, invitations, save the dates, special gowns and outfits whether taffeta-free or not, they're all the same, hiding under a different name. Bottom line is, don't think you can classify your wedding or walk on the opposite side of the street just by following a few simple rules. A wedding, is a wedding, is a wedding. Independent? That's marketing talk.

In my case, I am trying to accept this fact, and I just need to focus on how to re-create the vision in my brain into a real-life event. Whether that means lace or no lace, dry-insect lollipops as wedding favors or not, it's all still about a day when we will spend significant amounts of money all to commemorate or celebrate a formal union (AKA Wedding).

So that leaves me to think, is there really such a thing as offbeat? Who is to say?

My (Our) Very Own Chateau

2009-12-12T17:58:00.000-05:00

Finding your very own chateau in this urban jungle is like finding the perfect pair of shoes - on sale and in your size. Luckily for me, I'm a size 6/6.5 depending on the shoe, which more often than not means that at least the sample size will be available and I can have my cake and eat it too. But, this isn't always the case when you're looking for a wedding venue. Your wedding's success rests heavily on the location.

After looking at several places, all of them very much in line what we were looking for, I realized that I could go down this path endlessly if I let it. After touring The Foundry and Smack Mellon Gallery, each time on the way home I harassed Fred about how we would never be able to find anything else like it - each time he proved me wrong. Fred, being the cautious, tactical person that he is was not as easily impressed, so I knew that the right place would be one that he didnt feel so apprehensive about (besides me, he will never love anything more than he loves Gwar so I had to take his nod and run with it).

The day we went to check out Metro (as I've heard it called) was no ordinary day. It was my birthday and I was on the way home to the Bronx to spend the day with my parents. We figured we could make a quick run and look-see on the way over despite the subway re-routing we had to deal with, and the torrential downpour that descended upon us that day.

The Metropolitan Building is not much to look at on the outside. Just another warehouse/factory brick monolith living happily among other similar-type buildings. The first thing that came to mind even before going in was: "how will guests know this is a wedding venue?" Fortunately, once inside the coin flipped. We entered to find a smaller version of what the proud owner would compare to a French chateau, or in my eyes a Victorian home: a little worn, a little shabby-chic, infused with vintage charm and character. To me, it felt like that 6/6.5 shoe; it was pretty, and just my size. While not on sale by any means, it was a good find and I was really hopeful that Fred would approve.

Several weeks later, after much research and convincing on my behalf, he signed. And that's how our first big step into making-our-wedding-happen came to be. With the place and date reserved, we could finally say that we had a wedding in the oven!

"Everybody should live in a French chateau or the local equivalent thereof", Eleanor Ambos as quoted in The New York Times, April 16, 2006.

Location, Location, Location

2009-12-07T23:12:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of debate around who first coined the term "location, location, location". Some sources credit it back to realtors in the 1950's, but an earlier reference was found in the Yale Book of Quotations dating as far back as 1926 as covered in a New York Times article (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/28/magazine/28FOB-onlanguage-t.html), but regardless of who first coined it it's a triple-word phrase that means a lot. If you're in cinema, it means the setting for your shoot; if it's Real Estate it means property value based on access to main roads, transportation, shops, schools, etc.; and for brides and grooms it means mood and setting for their special day.

When Fred and I finally decided to start looking at venues we toyed with a few options- destination wedding? Given my heritage a destination wedding in Mexico sounded almost dreamy. Imagine what it would be like to be married in one of Mexico's oldest colonial towns like that of San Miguel de Allende? Old churches, haciendas, porticos; a beautiful wedding at sunset with the Mariachi serenading the nuptials. But, that would mean inviting 99% of our family so that only 2% could attend. That, plus dealing with long-distance wedding arrangements sounded a bit more complicated than what we could or would be able to manage. We would need to keep it local- NYC. Goodbye money.

We did not have a ton of criteria for our venue hunt; rather than must-have's we had must-not's, and our most important must-not was no multiple-wedding venues. With that, a shitload of options went right out the door, and with them probably the opportunity to save a bit on cost. Country Clubs, Grand Prospect Halls-and-the like, sorry but we cannot consider you. Thus, the venue-hunt process began and I was in charge. I read blogs, online wedding directories, and the more mainstream wedding websites to the extent of what became a list of venues that had captured my interest and would require further research.

First on my list were restaurants, off-the-beaten-path venues like lofts, galleries, museums, and church-halls. (Until Fred plainly stated: "I am not getting married in a church"). We began with the restaurants and looked at one in particular in Astoria. It was nice, and I'm sure the food was great, but there was something about that pre-determined feel to it that didn't move us the way we wanted. It did not synch up with our tastes, or interests, or for that matter our personalities. We checked restaurants off our list.

We then looked at what I thought was the perfect venue, The Foundry in LIC. Beautiful, beautiful place. Totally in synch with Fred and my personal taste. But, there was a big BUT: beautiful venue, out of our price-range. It was/is so nice that despite the lofty pricetag (and this is based on a media salary P.O.V please), we were willing to consider it. But then I found that they don't allow lose flower petals. Say what? One of my most loved traditional mexican wedding dances is called "the flowers". It is a simple dance where guests armed with trays full of flower petals dance in front of the bride and groom and shower them with flowers as they go. To not be able to have that, was not an option for me. this made it so that we could give up on The Foundry with a lot more ease.

The galleries were among the last venues we looked at, but found that as awesome a settign as they can be, they're just very time sensitive. Some of them wouldn't host weddings unless it was off-peak season, limiting us to when we could actually be married. For Fall weddings it would be early September and late November only. While that would've been okay, I wasn't really willing to work around my ideal wedding month. I felt like I was giving up something special by compromising the wedding date. My October is like many brides' June. Despite this, we did find that the Smack Mellon Gallery in DUMBO, Brooklyn was absolutely fabulous. High ceilings, exposed brick; what used to be an old Boiler building has since been turned into a magnicifent canvas for brides & grooms to paint their ideal wedding. The grey, minimalist yet bold aesthetics make it so that all attention is on your wedding detail. The concrete columns and huge windows overlooking the river & bridge provided the perfect backdrop. But, we couldn't do it. In the name of all things Autumn, October needed to be my month.

Finally, one day while browsing blogs and reading listings on wedding-friendly sites, I came across this place in Long Island City called the Metropolitan Building. It shared similar traits to The Foundry and the loft-like aesthetics we so loved about the gallery in Brooklyn, but different. The pictures and information on the website was promising. Then on October 3rd, a warm but rainy morning I called up and asked if I could arrange for a tour of the venue, and sure enough, we were offered to see it that same day - my birthday! Coincidence?

Even Numbers + Hoodie Weather + October = Wedding Day

2009-12-04T20:46:00.001-05:00

Finding the venue for the wedding is probably the first things couples try to nail down. Finding the perfect, or ideal, place determines where and when the wedding will take place. For us, this was something that I was eager to get working on because we wanted to get married in 2010 - I like even numbers! I didn't want 2011, and well, I didn't want to take my chances with 2012!

I also knew that I wanted an October wedding. I'm an October baby, and I absolutely LOVE the Fall. There's something about the crisp weather, the turning leaves, and just an overall a sense of warmth and comfort that Fall brings that puts a smile on my face. Fred calls it "hoodie weather". We love our "hoodie weather". There are a few things that come to mind when I think of Autumn:
October
Colors
Leaves
Apple Cider
Apples
Pumpkins
Halloween
Dia de Los Muertos

And I LOVE all of the above.

With that, we needed to get crackin'. Before anything else, I wanted a date; everything else would work itself out around that date. I thought of what the weather would be in October based on what it was this year; hot, cold, very unpredictable - global-warming sucks! In trying to think about not breaking the bank entirely for this event we thought a Sunday wedding would be best- rates tend to be cheaper. So what days in October 2010 fall on Sundays? Initially we were thinking of October 31st. I love Halloween and the thought of having a theme wedding was exciting! But then, would it be too themey? What if it was really cold (I hate the cold)? What if it was shitty and rainy and cold? Then I thought about the 10th of October - middle ground. But wait - 10-10-10? No way! I was not ready or willing to compete for this date with all those other broads just because of 3 perfectly matching numbers. That left three other dates: 3rd, 17th, and 24th. I considered the 24th because it's an even number (sadly, yes). But then, somehow I felt like I wanted something a bit more special. How about the 3rd? My Birthday!

My Birthday! What, you say? Why would I do that? Two reasons:
1 - Because it's unexpected. Most women, I found, want to keep their birthdays and anniversaries as far apart from each other. They don't want to compromise gifts or celebrations if the two are too close together. Well, I'm glad I'm not with them. Heck, Fred and I don't even know when we started dating. Eventually we decided to just pick a date we liked and made it our anniversary - October 14th. Sadly, I don't think there has been a time when we have celebrated it. I think it has to do because it doesn't really mean anything to us. Haha!
2 - Because Fred's mother married on her birthday- Friday, October 13th! Talk about NOT being superstitious! And she is the happiest married woman I know! Her love for her husband is grand. I can only wish to be as happy in my marriage as she. And that, is the truth.

Wedding date then is: OCTOBER 3rd, 2010

The Surprised To-Be-Bride

2009-12-03T15:50:00.003-05:00

Should be self-explanatory!

Wedding Good Luck Charms

2009-12-02T00:11:00.000-05:00

So now that we know what the cork represents, I went ahead and out of curiousity looked up other good-luck-bringers for that big day. Here are some that I found which I thought were pretty interesting.

The horseshoe- I think we all know that it's meant to represent good luck but according to what I've read it has to do with good ol' Satan! Apparently, a blacksmith outwitted lord of darkness himself when the latter showed up and asked to have his shoe changed (get it?). Knowing this the blacksmith took advantage and made it as painful as possible. Satan was in so much pain that he asked for it to be removed at once! To do so, the blacksmith requested that he never appear in a household with a horseshoe hung over the door.

The chimney sweep - this is supposed to represent the hearth, or the center of the home (the chimney) and symbolizes keeping it in working order. It is believed that If a bride sees one on her way to be married, she will be lucky in her marriage. Nowadays you can rent them for better measure.

Gray horse - If a bride-to-be saw/sees a gray horse on her wedding day she will be lucky in her marriage. Better yet if she rides it! So, make sure your wedding is nearby Central Park.

Rain on your wedding day - from what my mother has told me, if it rains on your wedding day you will have bountiful blessings in your marriage, and money! Trade those heels for some rain shoes! (then again she says that if you ever in your lifetime eat out of a pot instead of a plate, it will rain on your wedding day).

As long as there are weddings, there will always be superstition to go along with them. Wear your underpants inside-out and backwards, wear something borrowed, whatever whatever. Mostly, we just do these things because this is what we know and what we've been told, but how many brides really know what the heck these rites and rituals and superstitions even mean? Go ahead, test them (us). Don't worry, unless Google and/or Bing aren't doing their job, I'm determined to get to the bottom of it all!

Now back to South Park.

The Good Luck Cork

2009-11-30T22:51:00.004-05:00

So what is a good luck cork you say? My knowledge extends as far as what I was told by my friends, based on what they were told by a friend in Italy.
Based on a little bit of a research that I have since conducted, it is meant to signify good luck. Traditionally, it involves a silver coin wedged in a Champagne cork.

This is what I found via two posts on Yahoo! Answers (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080305120632AAldhNE):

"dont know where the traditions from but i know my gran did this for each of my children when they were born and ive put them in their keepske boxes [...]"

and

"When I catered for weddings I always put a 50p coin in the 1st Champagne bottle and presented it to the bride, when I got married in 1967 my grandmother put a half crown coin in my toast bottle cork - for luck - we have just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary."

Also, the top-most post links to this page on BBC where there's a whole thing on Corks http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A735789 Here is what it says:

Corks
This doesn't have to be a champagne cork but it does need to be from a bottle. When a bottle is shared and the occasion is a happy one, take the cork from the bottle, making a wish that the pleasure you feel at this happy event is repeated, placing a coin in a slit on the top of the cork as you do so. Sleep with the cork under the pillow and then place it in your pocket for the next day. Rub the cork any day thereafter (it's advisable not to rub the cork too vigorously as this may elicit looks of disgust from passers-by) whenever you wish to hear from the people that shared the bottle with you. Do not wish for love, but rather, continuing happiness; corks symbolise buoyancy, not love.

I have not done the whole sleeping with it under my pillow or rubbing it yet... hope it's not too late!

In the end, I think it's a nifty tradition that is cool and something that I am thankful to my friends for sharing. I am sure that it's also a ritual that I will be adapting as well. Sister, for your housewarming, the cork is on me!

The pictures below are of the corks that I received from my friends Melissa & Mike (the one with the Euro), as well as the one from Fred's mom (the one with the NYC Subway token- now that's old school).

Enjoy traditions, embrace them, they make ordinary moments extra-ordinary!

We're engaged, now what?

2009-11-30T21:23:00.000-05:00

Soon after we got engaged I think Fred and I realized that we really didn't know what to do next. All this anticipation leading up to this one moment, and then what? Right after he proposed to me, and after I was done staring in awe, we looked around the office and realized we didn't know what to do next, so we went to get lunch. Well, he took me to pick up lunch, gave me a kiss and then sent me back to work- he had to go back to the office. Back at work I barely touched my sandwich; I was still in the moment. Later that day after he was done with work we finally left to celebrate our engagement over a nice Mexican dinner. And that was the extent of our celebration that day.

Later that week we had a few smaller scale private celebrations over a BBQ with friends that weekend, and a smaller family gathering at his brother's apt in Queens. We did open a few bottles of Champagne, and our friends Melissa and Mike actually shared with us a good-luck tradition that they picked up while vacationing in Italy in April, where they became engaged! This is the story of the cork.

Read on...

The Ring!

2009-11-29T16:26:00.000-05:00

Fred and I have been living together for almost four years now, and getting engaged was never out of the question, it was simply a matter of time. When the time came (and I don't know how it happens, it's just some sort of time bomb that goes off) to get serious about it, he started doing his research. Fred is very much the practical guy, never rushing into anything, never an impulse buy, everything is thoroughly calculated- an engagement ring wouldn't be the exception.

He started doing research and even began looking at lab diamonds; a guaranteed way the diamond would be bloodless. But, it turned out that the lab diamonds he was finding only went as high as a .5 carat size. Now, before you pass judgment you have to realize something- I didn't want something that stopped traffic, but not having really been a huge fan of jewelry (costume the only exception) I wanted something that I would enjoy wearing for potentially the rest of my life, and so I did have an idea of what I wanted. The ideal ring for me would be around 1carat because I thought it was a nice round number and it's probably the most common diamond size. Knowing this he went back to the drawing board after finding that the lab diamonds were no longer an option. And to think that lab diamonds are only a fraction of the cost!

After weeks of research, the man finally realized that it was time for us to go look at the real things. He warned me: "now, don't get any ideas... we're only going to look at rings so that I can get a sense of what you like, it doesn't mean I'm going to buy anything". How charming of him! And so, we went to check out this store in Park Slope, Brooklyn called The Clay Pot that caught our eye after various internet searches. And there, in a matter of minutes I had found the ring I wanted to own and to wear. It was simple, but full of intricacies upon close inspection. And just like that the quest was finally over. I knew what I wanted, and he knew that once I knew, there was nothing else to it but to just make it happen. And that, he did!

Here's the pic:

Ring is from the Richard Landi collection: http://richardlandi.com/html_pages/1962.html

And here's the ring on my finger! I think it's dainty and has plenty of vintage charm. Sigh!

The Proposal - What did people have to say?

2009-11-29T13:14:00.000-05:00

Once the message was out, we got lots of congrats and good wishes from close friends, family, and co-workers. But we also got some negatives from people viewing the posts- just like everything else, you can't please everyone! Below are some of these posts from SheKnows.com:

this is so sweet.please say yes.

Dalila, For the love of mercy, you must say no. This guy is clearly out of his mind. No man thinks hair has personality. When the fit wears off, he's going to be one terrible guy to be around, and if you haven't already lost all respect for someone who would humiliate himself so pitifully in public, you soon will. You can do better.

Now thats something new folks! Way to go dude...god bless you both. #SayYesD !!!!

way to go D..u are the luckiest woman in the world..god bless:-)

Hi! I am from India and read your love story which is very touching. Dalia I can make sure that your boyfriend loves you very much as he cares you a lot for sake of your smile. I can understand his feelings as I am also in love. He is the perfect match and soul mate for you. A woman wants her lifepartner who care her passionately and make her feel safe. He is the rite person "***SAY YESS**"

I remember you guys from school I think we took marketing together. I think this is great best of luck on your future together! Xoxo

Hey Fred me and the family got a couple things for ya one a fat woman came in to the shoe store today you already know that one Two whoa! Bundy! Three I hope you enjoy the married life wait til you have a kelly a bud and maybe even a seven oh god plese kill me! love the Bundys

Even the Huff Post was wondering whether this was for real or not! Sadly (not really), most people thought it was a marketing ploy!

And this folks, is why you should leave work at work. In our case, since we both work in the industry we knew what the real deal was, as well as the rest of our peers. Overall, we both enjoyed reading the posts - it was as though we were B list celebrities for a day!

The Proposal - August 31st, 2009

2009-11-29T12:36:00.001-05:00

Dalila, will you marry me?

The proposal

Fred Ehrhart

I love my girlfriend very much. I try to prove this to her whenever I can, but I knew for my proposal I would have to top anything I have done in the past. I knew that I would need some help. So I find myself typing this list, for all SheKnows readers to see, of the top 10 reasons why I not only love Dalila, but why her accepting this proposal is the right thing to do. Hopefully with your help I can convince her to say yes, but first I need to convince you to take the effort to help me and hopefully this list will prove to you that Dalila is the one for me.

Persistence -- When we first met in college, the thing that separated Dalila from all the rest of the girls I had met was her persistence. There were a lot of girls in that school, and I didn’t want to be held down to one, so I turned down her initial advances at me. But she kept coming. Even after multiple rejections from me, she knew that I was what she wanted and she did not stop until she had me. Once I saw the determination and the resolve she had to get me, I realized that she was worth the time, and have never regretted it since. Since she persisted in getting me, I see it only fit that I try to make her accept my proposal in every way I possibly can.
Hair -- Dalila has the most beautiful yet craziest head of hair I have ever seen. She has complicated tight curls that have many tints and intricacies to them, each strand containing its own personality. If there is one thing that people notice about her when they first meet, it’s always the hair. Many a time people have asked her if it was real or if she spent hours to look that way. I’ve never meet another person whose hair has as much personality. Her hair is what I first noticed when I met her, and to this day is still a major part of my most fond memories of her.
Family -- Dalila’s loyalty to her family almost makes me feel guilty for my loyalty to my own. There is nothing in life that she does where she doesn’t consider family first, and always looks to help them in any way she can. And her family is full of wonderful and loving people who are the kindest and most genuine people I have met in a lifetime. I would very much like to consider them part of my own family.
Temper -- Dalila has a temper a mile wide. She is so full of life, passion, and energy that if she does not have an outlet it can manifest itself in the wrong way. Much like a superhero or atomic energy, she is capable of great good, but can lead to great destruction if not treated with care. I need to be there for her when tempers flare to bring her back down from critical meltdown.
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground -- Dalila is the constant optimist. There is nothing she can’t overcome, and she wants to accomplish so much, but can get carried away on her own. I am the constant realist, calculating, analytical, and efficient. Together we balance out each others flaws and are capable of so much.
Shoulder aka pillow -- Without my shoulder to lean on, Dalila would never have a good place to rest her head on the subway. Her hair would probably get caught in gum or in the train doors and she would never get a good nap. For the sake of her health alone she needs me for emotional and upper lumbar support.
Projects -- Dalila loves undertaking new projects. From sewing to cooking to tea ceremonies to painting and so much more, she loves keeping busy and being productive. No one needs more work done to them than me. My hair is constantly a mess, I still mostly wear the same clothing I did when I was in high school (Not the same style mind you, the same actual articles of clothes), I have tons of collectables that I do nothing with, and my desk is just a mess. I need to be her project and she will always have something to do with me around.
Love letters -- When we were in College and when we first started seeing each other, Dalila used to write me love letters all the time. They were never sappy poetry or contrived, they were always from the heart, to the point, and memorable. I remember one time I bought her a journal as a gift (an actual journal, pen and paper, not a blog), and not only did she fill the entire book, front and backs of pages with entries about me and her, but she gave it to me to keep when she was done. I always loved these letters, so I though it was only fair that I wrote her one.
Her childlike enthusiasm -- I can’t really put words to this point as it’s rather hard to explain. Let’s just says that Dalila sees the world through lenses of a different color. I wish I could still see the wonderment in things that she does. She will understand what I mean if she reads this more than anyone else.
Love -- It’s totally contrived and predictable for me to say it, but it’s hard to argue with the truth. I love Dalila with everything I got. I’m certain she feels the same. Regardless of the last nine reasons, this is the only one that really counts, but I hope the other nine helped prove that I really do love her to those of you who are reading this.
I hope that you all have read my list and agree with me that Dalila should accept my proposal and marry me. But I need your help, because Dalila is not just going to listen to a few people telling her it’s the right thing to do. Please post to your Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and anything else you can with the Hash tag #SayYesD and tell your friends to do the same. Link back to this page and show people my list so they can understand how much I love Dalila. We are going to aggregate all your messages and show Dalila how many people think she should say yes.

This is the first day of my blog as I anxiously wait for these yams to bake!

2009-11-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting on the couch next to my to-be-husband (I prefer that versus the typical fancy word: fiance) as he plays Magic The Gathering on Xbox and I realize it's time to get this wedding planning officially started! Woohoo! There! I've said it! It's time for me to go into full girly, happy, giggly, "I'm going to be married" mode.

Fred says: "it's not ever time for that"
(he gets to read what i write since he's sitting right here next to me)

So, I believe I need to start with why this blog is called D says Yes! instead of "Fred & Dalila: The Wedding" or "Fred & D Wed" or "Fred & Dalila realize they will be spending a shitload of money in a single day in the near future" - the truth is because if you are reading this you probably already know how my engagement went down. But in case you don't, it was an online social media proposal and it happened through work at work. He asked me to marry him via facebook, twitter, and posted the 10 reasons why i should say yes on a female lifestyle site called She Knows- we both work in Online advertising (he's a creative guy and I'm a media planner) which explains why he decided to do it via an online campaign (we both practically live at work). Pictures of this and the actual proposal to be posted tomorrow (hopefully). So, in answer to his viral campaign "Say Yes D", I say: "D says yes!".

So there, the "yes" has been said and now it is to make this happen! Married life (officially), here we come! And my yams should be done right about... now.